I don’t know exactly what I want to talk about, but I want to.
I’m currently cashed out on GI physiology. In a few minutes, after I rationalize to myself that I’ve completed sufficient studying for the day, I’ll go home and make out what I can of this almost unsustainable lifestyle.
I’ve lately suffered episodes of fatigue and exhaustion. About every 3 weeks I need complete relaxation for a good 2 days with all extraneous stimuli weeded out of my path.
I’m in a constant battle: swatting responsibilities off left and right while jumping over academic hurdles and ducking under branches of tests, standardized patients, and e-learning modules. It’s like being on a treadmill, but someone else is adjusting the speed and incline. Actually, it’s probably got a few more dimensions than a treadmill…
The Question: Can you classify people into sandwich types?
The Answer: Yes.
One of my professors at school is pure ham and cheese. No mustard, no mayo, not even a few slices of onion or lettuce. Just the straight h and c, and definitely on white bread. He could probably be the type that you buy at the airport where the cheese gets a little smushed on the sides and melds together with the meat. Now, I’m not calling him cheap. I’m just trying to extract his personality and channel it through sandwich phenomena.
The man is slightly post-middle aged crisis. He’s balding, has a high-pitched german accent, and is inadvertently funny. Divorced, bitter, and cynical, he surely gets lost at times. He often imparts false information during lecture simply because he doesn’t care. Yet he’s buoyant and will surprise you. He sometimes shows you his depth, and other times, well, not so much. But he never lets you down. You know what you’re getting when the man walks through the door- just like you knew what you were getting when you unwrapped the tin foil from your sandwich in 3rd grade- the ham and cheese.
I really meant to post this a while ago when my Phish resurgence was at its peak. But nevertheless, I’m still ridin’ high.
March 6,7, and 8th marked the return of Phish. After 4 1/2 years in the wilderness, while the front man was arrested for drugs and put on house arrest, they’re back. And it feels great.
It has been a gift really. I reminder that I’m not just a prisoner to the field of medicine, and that the part of my personality that draws on my creativity, abstract thinking, and uniqueness, is still there. It’s odd to me really- a bit coincidental- almost like I needed them to come back without even thinking it, and they did. To be completely honest, I wasn’t all too excited when I first heard of their reunion: I was discouraged by Trey’s sloppy playing, his carelessness with Phish’s infamous technicality, and his worn out voice. But once I downloaded the three night run from Hampton, it was like I was struck on the head with a frying pan. ”Remember this dude!” And then I did. And again, it’s great.
The other thing I just want to mention is that my recapturing of Phish has let me remove myself from school when I’m there. I have maybe 1 other friend in med school who really gets this band. And regardless if other people would get it if they were exposed, I know that right now, they don’t, and I like that. I can slide in an out of my own little world of rebas, YEMs, guyutes, and runaway jims, and no one has a clue what any of that means.
So thank you Phish, for once again grounding me and reminding me to chill out and not lose touch.
I know that was corny, but deal with it…
I’m nostalgic for the past. Even for times when I wasn’t alive. When everything was more simple. When people used pay phones…I remember going to the mall and having to call my mom to pick me up with either two quarters, a phone card, and using a landline cemented in the ground. Now those phones are obsolete. Convenience has been exploited by the free market, and we can each just dive down into our pockets and hook into not just our friends and family but the entire world through the handheld internet. Our social networking has been convoluted into facebook, myspace, AIM, IChat, eharmony, jdate, and whatever other networking tool you can think of. I feel like traditional “courting”, telephoning the landline to actually face a confrontational social situation, or dating, is gone. We’re becoming an extremely sexual, but shy culture. We glamorize our hollywood role models and celebrate their good looks and style, but our generation is more indirect and insecure with sexuality when it comes down to it. Technology has impeded the facilitation of natural social relationships, and you can see it everywhere…
And although technology has so many upsides, like HAVING the world at your fingertips by flipping open your phone, we’ve already become desensitized to it. We’d rather know what Brangelina’s 11th adopted kid’s nickname is than surf the internet to read about why we’re going to be paying off the debt of the last 10 years of disastrous government policy. We’re a cheap thrills, sugar-coated, fluffy, superficial culture. Although Obama has faith in the American workforce, I’m not sure which generation he’s talking about. The greatest generation? They’re dying off. The baby boomers? They’re retiring. Us? No, we’re stuck stalking people on facebook while our economy’s falling apart. I’m not really sure what his election victory means in terms of how genuine a response the country will get from its “new era of responsibility”. He’s definitely targeting the right goal, but he has to rely on our lazy ass generation to meet it.
It’s not all our fault that we’re like this. We’re reaping the benefits of the post-WWII economic boom, and the catharsis of a 60s generation that was able to combine economic and financial prosperity with progressive values. No one can force civics down our throats. Not in our society. And we can’t lay blame solely to the complicated globalized and modern world. This is the world we live in, and we must move forward with whatever that may be; even if it’s digital code instead of analog, and our shareholding is dispersed in economic derivatives that no one can understand…
I guess we have to find simplicity in a world that isn’t. Maybe I need to do that on my own. If you haven’t caught on yet, this entire blog is in its entirety a self-projection…
Am I training to be a Jedi Knight? I know it sounds a bit out of reach, but let’s think about it…
I am required to sacrifice all self indulgence as I further my training into medicine. Love? Forget about it. No time, and if you even do, then you will compromise your academic integrity and clinical ability. Didn’t you see what happened to Annikan? Love led him to the dark side. It evoked emotions too irrational for his Jedi demeanor to handle, and fear took grip while he was off kilter. Jedi are stricken from getting themselves into relationships because it distracts from their main objective: service to keep the peace. Any distractions from my training will deprive my expertise in my service to the public’s health.
Death, we must not fear. Both Jedi and Physician are groomed to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. We have to accept haziness and uncertainty while the average grapple with and are sometimes defeated by the unknown. We don’t fight fire with fire.
The Jedi use the force, an intangible objectivity to help them dictate through tough decisions and give them strength. We use…biomedical ethics (which I know, is a loose framework and sort of an unstable foundation) to guide our healthcare decisions for patients. Definitely not a great tenant to this argument…
We are both considered the most noble of professions in our distinct societies. Note that in Star Wars, Jedi are separate from the political sphere…yes they have votes in the Senate, but they operate independently. Doctors can operate in the political sphere, but we are here to serve the people. There’s a general assumption of purity in our two professions. Both are held to a higher standard that’s often hard to meet. The problem is the Jedi are ficitional and we are factual. Let’s hope I’m not really training to be a Jedi.
I’m sorry, but animal rights activists are going to have to be put on the back burner for the moment. With two wars, an economy teetering on depression, global financial crisis, a warming climate, overpopulation, and even part of our human population devoid of their natural civil rights (gays, lesbians), there is little room in the agenda for passing any meaningful legislation conserving, or moreso progressing animal rights. If you want to include any amendments in bills concerning conservation of human-based ecosystems, the more power to ya. I’m sure there’s a way. But there are enough problems plaguing human beings for the PETA lobby or whoever the hell represents these different organisms to be heard. So for now, cage sizes will remain small while you can go walk your dog and feed your cat IAMS (unless they’re contaminated, which is yet another issue to add to our list). Maybe lobby through the FDA?
